I could form a list - there are perks to being a god of poetry, you know.
[ He smiles at Akira's list and then nods at Nico. ]
Maybe I should team up with him.
[ But when it's time to get on with why they're in here... he's gently taking Nico's hand for now. Just in time to find himself being hugged by the human. His breath softly catches as he takes a slow breath and lets his head rest on Akira's shoulder.
The feeling of security helps with coaxing him into relaxing. It's really nice, but it's going to take a lot to get those walls down - they're reinforced by thousands of years' worth of pain. Considering who his dad is and what it's like being a Greek god, though...
[ Though Nico doesn't sound or feel like he truly means it.
Nico easily lets the god take his hand, shifting his grip so he can lace their fingers together. Unlike last time when he was looking after Percy and Akira doing this, he doesn't distance himself physically. Merely tries to keep that calm and sense of relative peace.
But he is quiet. Letting the empath do his thing while rubbing his thumb over the back of Apollon's hand. ]
[Akira didn't expect anything less. Apollon did the hardest part, and that was surrendering to them. Now it was up to Akira to carry through on his end...
His hand comes up and runs into the blonde locks, stroking slowly through the hair. The calm and peace Nico presents allows him to focus without wavering on coaxing those walls to come down, no matter how persistent they may be. He's never forceful with his powers; it's just a constant, gentle instilling of security, coupled with a dampening of lingering anxiety.
He's scanning those emotions, trying to determine where he might best be able to get leverage. Meanwhile, the calm and peace from Nico has him relaxed enough to gently turn his head and nuzzle into the side of Apollon's.]
[ There's just a wink to Nico at the first comment.
... As for the persistence from Akira and the comfort from Nico, both of those things serve as reassurance; the walls are at least getting chipped away at.
One feeling stands out above the rest: self-loathing. It's not as strong as Akira probably remembers it being, early on, but it's still there. That and the guilt are at the top of the list, really, with some general sadness.
Buried the deepest are insecurity and loneliness - not in a way that implies they're not the strongest feelings he has, but in a way that suggests they've been getting ignored the longest. Even now, he's unconsciously working to keep them there. ]
[ At this point, Nico can guess some of the emotions weighing on the god and has felt some of them himself. It sucks, carrying that burden alone and he can only imagine having it for thousands of years.
He leans into Apollon's side lightly, his thumb never stopping its movements. For now, there's nothing said - just letting the blond reach those emotions, feel them and be here to help him through them. ]
[He gives a gentle nudge to each of those negative emotions, one by one, encouraging them into focus for Apollon. What he's feeling is already pretty painful, especially the excessive amount of self-loathing. It makes him give the god a protective squeeze. Akira has found nothing to hate about him, and he's sure Nico feels the same way.
But he does notice it doesn't feel as strong as before, and that's a relief in itself. He really wants to get to the core of those beliefs. Not just through emotional therapy, but hopefully straight from the god's mouth as well...
He turns his head, gaze landing on the other teen. Just like with Percy, he's a calm, steady presence. He has been since the beginning of all of this. Since they both ended up in the houses together and spent most of their waking hours with each other.
There's a small smile of gratitude. And then he lets his eyes slip closed as he focuses on continuing to chip away at those walls.
[ Nico leaning against him helps a lot, as does Akira's gentleness about it. Apollon's breath does catch as he finds it more difficult to ignore those negative feelings. He swallows thickly, his grip on the demigod's hand tightening just a little, his forehead pressing a little more firmly into the human all the while.
The words have his jawline tensing a little as some of his unconscious resolve cracks more. Those walls chip away a little more as he takes a shaky breath and nods. The self-loathing, the loneliness, sadness, anger, desperation, fear, doubt... even some paranoia. All of those are reaching the surface, laced with plenty of feelings that lurk within the same vein as those. So many emotions that have been bottled and ignored and pushed aside, time and again.
It's hard to force himself to let go, but Nico and Akira are both being patient and there's the soft coaxing of those powers. He shivers a little against the growing negativity. Being unable to "look away" from them is certainly not something he's altogether unused to, but it's been long enough by this point since he has, it's bringing the threat of panic. Because the last time he felt this... there had been yet another loss in his immortal existence.
A feeling of pure grief and buried betrayal starts to grow, this pain like no other that Akira's felt off of him. In fact, this is possibly one of the stronger feelings within him; it's certainly painful enough that it's taking Apollon's breath away and causing him to shudder with the force. It hurts so much and he immediately starts to fight against it.
He tightly closes his eyes, brow furrowing as he swallows down the threat of a sob. ]
[ Even if Nico can't sense the emotions like Akira can, nor are they his emotions like Apollon - he still wants to be here. For both of them. To lend his strength to them both, both physical and emotional.
He doesn't complain at how tight his hand might get squeezed by the depowered god because Nico knows how difficult it is to face those feelings that have been pushed down. However, this time Nico lifts his other hand from where it was enclosing Apollon's from the top and moves to bury his fingers in the hair closer to the nape of the god's neck.
Then Nico leans in to press a kiss to Apollon's cheek when it seems the god is having difficulty at the end. ]
[So much negativity. So much pain. So much that's been suppressed and neglected...
He can feel how hard Apollon is struggling, and reaches out with his powers to coax some more relaxation in him.
When he feels the edges of panic, he gently soothes them away. He is safe, he is secure; in the perfect sort of environment to let himself release those negative emotions, once Akira can lower his guard enough...
Ah... the grief and betrayal make Akira shiver a little, the same time Apollon gives that shudder. He gives another silent squeeze.]
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feels_manager
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-23 05:28 am (UTC)I could form a list - there are perks to being a god of poetry, you know.
[ He smiles at Akira's list and then nods at Nico. ]
Maybe I should team up with him.
[ But when it's time to get on with why they're in here... he's gently taking Nico's hand for now. Just in time to find himself being hugged by the human. His breath softly catches as he takes a slow breath and lets his head rest on Akira's shoulder.
The feeling of security helps with coaxing him into relaxing. It's really nice, but it's going to take a lot to get those walls down - they're reinforced by thousands of years' worth of pain. Considering who his dad is and what it's like being a Greek god, though...
... yeah... ]
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-23 05:39 am (UTC)[ Though Nico doesn't sound or feel like he truly means it.
Nico easily lets the god take his hand, shifting his grip so he can lace their fingers together. Unlike last time when he was looking after Percy and Akira doing this, he doesn't distance himself physically. Merely tries to keep that calm and sense of relative peace.
But he is quiet. Letting the empath do his thing while rubbing his thumb over the back of Apollon's hand. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-23 05:55 am (UTC)His hand comes up and runs into the blonde locks, stroking slowly through the hair. The calm and peace Nico presents allows him to focus without wavering on coaxing those walls to come down, no matter how persistent they may be. He's never forceful with his powers; it's just a constant, gentle instilling of security, coupled with a dampening of lingering anxiety.
He's scanning those emotions, trying to determine where he might best be able to get leverage. Meanwhile, the calm and peace from Nico has him relaxed enough to gently turn his head and nuzzle into the side of Apollon's.]
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-23 06:12 am (UTC)... As for the persistence from Akira and the comfort from Nico, both of those things serve as reassurance; the walls are at least getting chipped away at.
One feeling stands out above the rest: self-loathing. It's not as strong as Akira probably remembers it being, early on, but it's still there. That and the guilt are at the top of the list, really, with some general sadness.
Buried the deepest are insecurity and loneliness - not in a way that implies they're not the strongest feelings he has, but in a way that suggests they've been getting ignored the longest. Even now, he's unconsciously working to keep them there. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-23 05:55 pm (UTC)He leans into Apollon's side lightly, his thumb never stopping its movements. For now, there's nothing said - just letting the blond reach those emotions, feel them and be here to help him through them. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-24 04:28 am (UTC)But he does notice it doesn't feel as strong as before, and that's a relief in itself. He really wants to get to the core of those beliefs. Not just through emotional therapy, but hopefully straight from the god's mouth as well...
He turns his head, gaze landing on the other teen. Just like with Percy, he's a calm, steady presence. He has been since the beginning of all of this. Since they both ended up in the houses together and spent most of their waking hours with each other.
There's a small smile of gratitude. And then he lets his eyes slip closed as he focuses on continuing to chip away at those walls.
He murmurs:]
Take as long as you need...
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-24 08:32 am (UTC)The words have his jawline tensing a little as some of his unconscious resolve cracks more. Those walls chip away a little more as he takes a shaky breath and nods. The self-loathing, the loneliness, sadness, anger, desperation, fear, doubt... even some paranoia. All of those are reaching the surface, laced with plenty of feelings that lurk within the same vein as those. So many emotions that have been bottled and ignored and pushed aside, time and again.
It's hard to force himself to let go, but Nico and Akira are both being patient and there's the soft coaxing of those powers. He shivers a little against the growing negativity. Being unable to "look away" from them is certainly not something he's altogether unused to, but it's been long enough by this point since he has, it's bringing the threat of panic. Because the last time he felt this... there had been yet another loss in his immortal existence.
A feeling of pure grief and buried betrayal starts to grow, this pain like no other that Akira's felt off of him. In fact, this is possibly one of the stronger feelings within him; it's certainly painful enough that it's taking Apollon's breath away and causing him to shudder with the force. It hurts so much and he immediately starts to fight against it.
He tightly closes his eyes, brow furrowing as he swallows down the threat of a sob. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-24 06:11 pm (UTC)He doesn't complain at how tight his hand might get squeezed by the depowered god because Nico knows how difficult it is to face those feelings that have been pushed down. However, this time Nico lifts his other hand from where it was enclosing Apollon's from the top and moves to bury his fingers in the hair closer to the nape of the god's neck.
Then Nico leans in to press a kiss to Apollon's cheek when it seems the god is having difficulty at the end. ]
We're here with you.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-24 07:08 pm (UTC)He can feel how hard Apollon is struggling, and reaches out with his powers to coax some more relaxation in him.
When he feels the edges of panic, he gently soothes them away. He is safe, he is secure; in the perfect sort of environment to let himself release those negative emotions, once Akira can lower his guard enough...
Ah... the grief and betrayal make Akira shiver a little, the same time Apollon gives that shudder. He gives another silent squeeze.]