He smiles, though it doesn't entirely reach his eyes toward the end. After looking down for a moment, he nods his head. ]
Some songs out there can be pretty terrible, but my list of favorites is super long... [ lightly squeezing Nico's hand while looking at Akira ] All of the songs he shared are part of it.
[ Looking and sounding and feeling serious about that. ]
Considering there are over ninety-seven million songs out there, just of what's in the Gracenote database, I had a lot to pick through. Many to choose from. [ a wink ] Over a hundred is much easier... and from somebody I like.
[ He laughs softly at Akira's words... ]
He does.
[ Ah. Once inside the room, there's a dim spike of anxiety. But the continued conversation has a tiny smile surfacing. ]
... Hypnagogic Pop.
[ But he's partially joking, it would seem. After some consideration, he hums. ]
Hmm... I guess I could give some range...? I liked a lot of Cesare Andrea Bixio's music, Kyu Sakamoto, Teresa Teng, and... [ tiny grin ] Mikis Theodorakis.
There's seriously that many songs? [ Nico's blown away by that number. ] I don't even remember picking these songs out, but I can see why Ren added them to my iPod for me.
[ He doesn't doubt that his boyfriend introduced him to a variety of music throughout the years, Nico just can't remember all of them.
Eyebrows raise at those words. ]
Hypnawhat pop? Is that actually a thing?
[ It sounds weird and Apollon is slightly joking so maybe it's not. ]
So... Italian, Japanese... [ A hesitant pause here. ] Chinese and Greek?
[ Apparently, just going to pretend he doesn't know exactly who Akira's talking about here, smh. Then there's a blink at the part about what that genre sounds like.
Then a laugh. ]
I think being high means you could listen to almost anything and still enjoy it. Have fun with any music. [ something that almost edges towards a smirk ] Its derivative form is called Vaporwave and it's also known as Chillwave and glo-fi.
[ Which absolutely doesn't help, he doesn't think.
Once he's sitting on the bed, he nods at Nico. There are still signs of nervousness, but at least this conversation is helping. ]
But it explores elements of cultural memory and nostalgia. It uses some technology of the past, aiming for the sounds that were used during the nineteen-eighties. Some are very enjoyable to listen to, while others are...
[ Listen, if the god of music is cringing over some songs...
There's a smile as Nico lists off the languages. ]
I could say the same about you. [ winking at Akira ] You're both very cute.
[ There's a laugh at Akira's next words, and then he's smiling at Nico. ]
Ah, the first part was to Akira, in case he's ever seen those terms on the internet. [ kissing Nico's cheek ] Don't worry - I'll introduce you to some of it. Teach you what they are.
[ He nods at the talk of sharing favorites, and then... there's that question of whether he's ready. He looks at the floor, not entirely realizing he's tightening his grip on Nico's hand. ]
First...
[ Quietly, he removes his ring and hands it to Akira. ]
... So I can't hurt either of you without meaning to. So you'll be safe from me.
[ He laughs and nods at Akira's first words there. ]
It isn't a bad thing to be called it. It fits how Nico Nico's been towards me, and all I've seen of you has been good.
[ There's a playful touch to his smile at Nico's question - he'll have to wait and hear. The last part from Akira has him blinking in confusion, at first. ]
... Oh.
[ But then he laughs quietly. Cute. Then he looks to Nico with a small smile, even as his cheeks darken over the forehead kiss. ]
Right... Of course.
[ Apollon takes a deep breath and looks up at Akira with a more serious look on his face. ]
I can trust you both... [ he's learning, he's trying ] I'm... in your hands. I'm ready.
I think it might be a long time before I accept it. There are other words to use, you know.
[ A blink at Apollon. He wants to ask if he's really been "cute" towards the god. Stubborn and flustered, sure. Does that count as being cute?
But now they're finally ready. All three of them.
His gaze meets Akira's, emotions as steady as he can make them - a sense of calm and peace for the empath to latch onto when the god's emotions take him for a rollercoaster ride. ]
What're the words you're wanting to be called? Kind, generous, intelligent, handsome...
[Don't mind Akira just listing off all of Nico's good traits here.
A small smile at the laugh, and he regards them both fondly before blinking and coming back to reality when Apollon gives him that look.
There's a great swell of fondness within him again. He could tell Apollon struggled with this greatly, yet here he was, surrendering himself to them... It was a beautiful sight.
He nods to them both, and there's no hesitation to move forward and wrap his arms around the blond as he begins his work, gently helping to instill more security within Apollon, as well as calm. He's going to patiently coax those feelings in order to bring down the walls around Apollon's heart.]
I could form a list - there are perks to being a god of poetry, you know.
[ He smiles at Akira's list and then nods at Nico. ]
Maybe I should team up with him.
[ But when it's time to get on with why they're in here... he's gently taking Nico's hand for now. Just in time to find himself being hugged by the human. His breath softly catches as he takes a slow breath and lets his head rest on Akira's shoulder.
The feeling of security helps with coaxing him into relaxing. It's really nice, but it's going to take a lot to get those walls down - they're reinforced by thousands of years' worth of pain. Considering who his dad is and what it's like being a Greek god, though...
[ Though Nico doesn't sound or feel like he truly means it.
Nico easily lets the god take his hand, shifting his grip so he can lace their fingers together. Unlike last time when he was looking after Percy and Akira doing this, he doesn't distance himself physically. Merely tries to keep that calm and sense of relative peace.
But he is quiet. Letting the empath do his thing while rubbing his thumb over the back of Apollon's hand. ]
[Akira didn't expect anything less. Apollon did the hardest part, and that was surrendering to them. Now it was up to Akira to carry through on his end...
His hand comes up and runs into the blonde locks, stroking slowly through the hair. The calm and peace Nico presents allows him to focus without wavering on coaxing those walls to come down, no matter how persistent they may be. He's never forceful with his powers; it's just a constant, gentle instilling of security, coupled with a dampening of lingering anxiety.
He's scanning those emotions, trying to determine where he might best be able to get leverage. Meanwhile, the calm and peace from Nico has him relaxed enough to gently turn his head and nuzzle into the side of Apollon's.]
[ There's just a wink to Nico at the first comment.
... As for the persistence from Akira and the comfort from Nico, both of those things serve as reassurance; the walls are at least getting chipped away at.
One feeling stands out above the rest: self-loathing. It's not as strong as Akira probably remembers it being, early on, but it's still there. That and the guilt are at the top of the list, really, with some general sadness.
Buried the deepest are insecurity and loneliness - not in a way that implies they're not the strongest feelings he has, but in a way that suggests they've been getting ignored the longest. Even now, he's unconsciously working to keep them there. ]
[ At this point, Nico can guess some of the emotions weighing on the god and has felt some of them himself. It sucks, carrying that burden alone and he can only imagine having it for thousands of years.
He leans into Apollon's side lightly, his thumb never stopping its movements. For now, there's nothing said - just letting the blond reach those emotions, feel them and be here to help him through them. ]
[He gives a gentle nudge to each of those negative emotions, one by one, encouraging them into focus for Apollon. What he's feeling is already pretty painful, especially the excessive amount of self-loathing. It makes him give the god a protective squeeze. Akira has found nothing to hate about him, and he's sure Nico feels the same way.
But he does notice it doesn't feel as strong as before, and that's a relief in itself. He really wants to get to the core of those beliefs. Not just through emotional therapy, but hopefully straight from the god's mouth as well...
He turns his head, gaze landing on the other teen. Just like with Percy, he's a calm, steady presence. He has been since the beginning of all of this. Since they both ended up in the houses together and spent most of their waking hours with each other.
There's a small smile of gratitude. And then he lets his eyes slip closed as he focuses on continuing to chip away at those walls.
[ Nico leaning against him helps a lot, as does Akira's gentleness about it. Apollon's breath does catch as he finds it more difficult to ignore those negative feelings. He swallows thickly, his grip on the demigod's hand tightening just a little, his forehead pressing a little more firmly into the human all the while.
The words have his jawline tensing a little as some of his unconscious resolve cracks more. Those walls chip away a little more as he takes a shaky breath and nods. The self-loathing, the loneliness, sadness, anger, desperation, fear, doubt... even some paranoia. All of those are reaching the surface, laced with plenty of feelings that lurk within the same vein as those. So many emotions that have been bottled and ignored and pushed aside, time and again.
It's hard to force himself to let go, but Nico and Akira are both being patient and there's the soft coaxing of those powers. He shivers a little against the growing negativity. Being unable to "look away" from them is certainly not something he's altogether unused to, but it's been long enough by this point since he has, it's bringing the threat of panic. Because the last time he felt this... there had been yet another loss in his immortal existence.
A feeling of pure grief and buried betrayal starts to grow, this pain like no other that Akira's felt off of him. In fact, this is possibly one of the stronger feelings within him; it's certainly painful enough that it's taking Apollon's breath away and causing him to shudder with the force. It hurts so much and he immediately starts to fight against it.
He tightly closes his eyes, brow furrowing as he swallows down the threat of a sob. ]
[ Even if Nico can't sense the emotions like Akira can, nor are they his emotions like Apollon - he still wants to be here. For both of them. To lend his strength to them both, both physical and emotional.
He doesn't complain at how tight his hand might get squeezed by the depowered god because Nico knows how difficult it is to face those feelings that have been pushed down. However, this time Nico lifts his other hand from where it was enclosing Apollon's from the top and moves to bury his fingers in the hair closer to the nape of the god's neck.
Then Nico leans in to press a kiss to Apollon's cheek when it seems the god is having difficulty at the end. ]
[So much negativity. So much pain. So much that's been suppressed and neglected...
He can feel how hard Apollon is struggling, and reaches out with his powers to coax some more relaxation in him.
When he feels the edges of panic, he gently soothes them away. He is safe, he is secure; in the perfect sort of environment to let himself release those negative emotions, once Akira can lower his guard enough...
Ah... the grief and betrayal make Akira shiver a little, the same time Apollon gives that shudder. He gives another silent squeeze.]
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He smiles, though it doesn't entirely reach his eyes toward the end. After looking down for a moment, he nods his head. ]
Some songs out there can be pretty terrible, but my list of favorites is super long... [ lightly squeezing Nico's hand while looking at Akira ] All of the songs he shared are part of it.
[ Looking and sounding and feeling serious about that. ]
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I bet. Maybe you can share some of it with us later. [ Only seems fair at this point. ] That's over a hundred songs.
[ All of them are songs Nico likes, picked out for him by his boyfriend. ]
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[They're nearing Akira's room now, and he opens the door to it to let them in.]
I guess asking for a favorite genre would be a pretty tall order too.
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[ He laughs softly at Akira's words... ]
He does.
[ Ah. Once inside the room, there's a dim spike of anxiety. But the continued conversation has a tiny smile surfacing. ]
... Hypnagogic Pop.
[ But he's partially joking, it would seem. After some consideration, he hums. ]
Hmm... I guess I could give some range...? I liked a lot of Cesare Andrea Bixio's music, Kyu Sakamoto, Teresa Teng, and... [ tiny grin ] Mikis Theodorakis.
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[ He doesn't doubt that his boyfriend introduced him to a variety of music throughout the years, Nico just can't remember all of them.
Eyebrows raise at those words. ]
Hypnawhat pop? Is that actually a thing?
[ It sounds weird and Apollon is slightly joking so maybe it's not. ]
So... Italian, Japanese... [ A hesitant pause here. ] Chinese and Greek?
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[Apollon and Nico really are cute, and he's glad the latter has felt the need to keep pestering the god...
When they're in the room and he feels the anxiety, he gives the hand a gentle squeeze as he leads them to the bed.]
Kind of sounds like something you'd listen to if you're high. Or maybe it was made by someone while they were high.
[He looks to Nico.]
I've never heard of it either, but I don't question the limits of humanity's creativity.
Especially while on drugs.
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He is~
[ Apparently, just going to pretend he doesn't know exactly who Akira's talking about here, smh. Then there's a blink at the part about what that genre sounds like.
Then a laugh. ]
I think being high means you could listen to almost anything and still enjoy it. Have fun with any music. [ something that almost edges towards a smirk ] Its derivative form is called Vaporwave and it's also known as Chillwave and glo-fi.
[ Which absolutely doesn't help, he doesn't think.
Once he's sitting on the bed, he nods at Nico. There are still signs of nervousness, but at least this conversation is helping. ]
But it explores elements of cultural memory and nostalgia. It uses some technology of the past, aiming for the sounds that were used during the nineteen-eighties. Some are very enjoyable to listen to, while others are...
[ Listen, if the god of music is cringing over some songs...
There's a smile as Nico lists off the languages. ]
Correct! That's all of them.
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[ Huffing indignantly but there's no real heat behind it.
He shakes his head at Akira's description. ]
You make it sound like you're an expert about listening and making music while high on drugs, Akira.
[ Poking the other male's side.
Frowning at Apollon's next words. ] You say that like I know what any of those are.
[ So nope, no help at all.
Nico sits next to the god on the bed, not letting go of his hand. The continued talk of music just... confuses him. ]
I'll have to take your word for it, Apollon.
[ He looks at both of them now and hums quietly. ]
Since I've shared my favorites with the two of you, I think it's only fair if you do the same in return.
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[Don't you play sly with him, Apollon!!
And then he looks at Nico and says, straight-faced:]
Would you think less of me if I was?
[He looks curiously at Apollon as he explains, then gives a small laugh at the cringe, before he nods to Nico.]
Sure. Maybe tomorrow or something.
[And then he's looking to Apollon, gaze softening.]
Are you ready?
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[ There's a laugh at Akira's next words, and then he's smiling at Nico. ]
Ah, the first part was to Akira, in case he's ever seen those terms on the internet. [ kissing Nico's cheek ] Don't worry - I'll introduce you to some of it. Teach you what they are.
[ He nods at the talk of sharing favorites, and then... there's that question of whether he's ready. He looks at the floor, not entirely realizing he's tightening his grip on Nico's hand. ]
First...
[ Quietly, he removes his ring and hands it to Akira. ]
... So I can't hurt either of you without meaning to. So you'll be safe from me.
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[ He knows he can be soft with some people but... Nico doesn't generally see himself as cute.
A shake of his head after the kiss is placed on his cheek. ] Do I really want to know what some of it is?
[ Nico squeezes that hand gently in return, allowing his arm to lean more into Apollon's.
Dark eyes watch as the god hands over his source of power. ]
We'll be fine. I'll look out for all of us. [ A soft, but firm reassurance as he leans in to brush his lips over Apollon's forehead. ]
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And yeah, actually, I have. Never actually gave it a listen, though.
[Another laugh at Nico questioning if he wants to know what it is. And then... Oh...
Akira's breath catches a little at that. Slowly, he reaches out to take it.
Still, he can't help but try to lighten the air some more:]
Proposing already? I know I have a tendency to jump the gun, but accepting this would be a new record.
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It isn't a bad thing to be called it. It fits how Nico Nico's been towards me, and all I've seen of you has been good.
[ There's a playful touch to his smile at Nico's question - he'll have to wait and hear. The last part from Akira has him blinking in confusion, at first. ]
... Oh.
[ But then he laughs quietly. Cute. Then he looks to Nico with a small smile, even as his cheeks darken over the forehead kiss. ]
Right... Of course.
[ Apollon takes a deep breath and looks up at Akira with a more serious look on his face. ]
I can trust you both... [ he's learning, he's trying ] I'm... in your hands. I'm ready.
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I think it might be a long time before I accept it. There are other words to use, you know.
[ A blink at Apollon. He wants to ask if he's really been "cute" towards the god. Stubborn and flustered, sure. Does that count as being cute?
But now they're finally ready. All three of them.
His gaze meets Akira's, emotions as steady as he can make them - a sense of calm and peace for the empath to latch onto when the god's emotions take him for a rollercoaster ride. ]
Ready.
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[Don't mind Akira just listing off all of Nico's good traits here.
A small smile at the laugh, and he regards them both fondly before blinking and coming back to reality when Apollon gives him that look.
There's a great swell of fondness within him again. He could tell Apollon struggled with this greatly, yet here he was, surrendering himself to them... It was a beautiful sight.
He nods to them both, and there's no hesitation to move forward and wrap his arms around the blond as he begins his work, gently helping to instill more security within Apollon, as well as calm. He's going to patiently coax those feelings in order to bring down the walls around Apollon's heart.]
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I could form a list - there are perks to being a god of poetry, you know.
[ He smiles at Akira's list and then nods at Nico. ]
Maybe I should team up with him.
[ But when it's time to get on with why they're in here... he's gently taking Nico's hand for now. Just in time to find himself being hugged by the human. His breath softly catches as he takes a slow breath and lets his head rest on Akira's shoulder.
The feeling of security helps with coaxing him into relaxing. It's really nice, but it's going to take a lot to get those walls down - they're reinforced by thousands of years' worth of pain. Considering who his dad is and what it's like being a Greek god, though...
... yeah... ]
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[ Though Nico doesn't sound or feel like he truly means it.
Nico easily lets the god take his hand, shifting his grip so he can lace their fingers together. Unlike last time when he was looking after Percy and Akira doing this, he doesn't distance himself physically. Merely tries to keep that calm and sense of relative peace.
But he is quiet. Letting the empath do his thing while rubbing his thumb over the back of Apollon's hand. ]
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His hand comes up and runs into the blonde locks, stroking slowly through the hair. The calm and peace Nico presents allows him to focus without wavering on coaxing those walls to come down, no matter how persistent they may be. He's never forceful with his powers; it's just a constant, gentle instilling of security, coupled with a dampening of lingering anxiety.
He's scanning those emotions, trying to determine where he might best be able to get leverage. Meanwhile, the calm and peace from Nico has him relaxed enough to gently turn his head and nuzzle into the side of Apollon's.]
no subject
... As for the persistence from Akira and the comfort from Nico, both of those things serve as reassurance; the walls are at least getting chipped away at.
One feeling stands out above the rest: self-loathing. It's not as strong as Akira probably remembers it being, early on, but it's still there. That and the guilt are at the top of the list, really, with some general sadness.
Buried the deepest are insecurity and loneliness - not in a way that implies they're not the strongest feelings he has, but in a way that suggests they've been getting ignored the longest. Even now, he's unconsciously working to keep them there. ]
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He leans into Apollon's side lightly, his thumb never stopping its movements. For now, there's nothing said - just letting the blond reach those emotions, feel them and be here to help him through them. ]
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But he does notice it doesn't feel as strong as before, and that's a relief in itself. He really wants to get to the core of those beliefs. Not just through emotional therapy, but hopefully straight from the god's mouth as well...
He turns his head, gaze landing on the other teen. Just like with Percy, he's a calm, steady presence. He has been since the beginning of all of this. Since they both ended up in the houses together and spent most of their waking hours with each other.
There's a small smile of gratitude. And then he lets his eyes slip closed as he focuses on continuing to chip away at those walls.
He murmurs:]
Take as long as you need...
no subject
The words have his jawline tensing a little as some of his unconscious resolve cracks more. Those walls chip away a little more as he takes a shaky breath and nods. The self-loathing, the loneliness, sadness, anger, desperation, fear, doubt... even some paranoia. All of those are reaching the surface, laced with plenty of feelings that lurk within the same vein as those. So many emotions that have been bottled and ignored and pushed aside, time and again.
It's hard to force himself to let go, but Nico and Akira are both being patient and there's the soft coaxing of those powers. He shivers a little against the growing negativity. Being unable to "look away" from them is certainly not something he's altogether unused to, but it's been long enough by this point since he has, it's bringing the threat of panic. Because the last time he felt this... there had been yet another loss in his immortal existence.
A feeling of pure grief and buried betrayal starts to grow, this pain like no other that Akira's felt off of him. In fact, this is possibly one of the stronger feelings within him; it's certainly painful enough that it's taking Apollon's breath away and causing him to shudder with the force. It hurts so much and he immediately starts to fight against it.
He tightly closes his eyes, brow furrowing as he swallows down the threat of a sob. ]
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He doesn't complain at how tight his hand might get squeezed by the depowered god because Nico knows how difficult it is to face those feelings that have been pushed down. However, this time Nico lifts his other hand from where it was enclosing Apollon's from the top and moves to bury his fingers in the hair closer to the nape of the god's neck.
Then Nico leans in to press a kiss to Apollon's cheek when it seems the god is having difficulty at the end. ]
We're here with you.
no subject
He can feel how hard Apollon is struggling, and reaches out with his powers to coax some more relaxation in him.
When he feels the edges of panic, he gently soothes them away. He is safe, he is secure; in the perfect sort of environment to let himself release those negative emotions, once Akira can lower his guard enough...
Ah... the grief and betrayal make Akira shiver a little, the same time Apollon gives that shudder. He gives another silent squeeze.]