MM R1: Mending Nick's Heart

[feels_manager]

Nick/"Lucas"
Akira


well
he might mosey off before Akira can chase
sooo...
... he could just appear in Akira's room n e g l
just. sitting on the bed

LMAO
lucas......................
don't do the creepy super-villain thing. just knock on the door like a normal person

nah

smh

Santa doesn't knock, remember~~

then
first thing akira would do
is come over and hug him

wtf
Lucas would legit jolt
completely rigid, instantly not breathing right, asking what in the hell he's doing

didn't he just say earlier that day that he never wants to hurt him?

... there's some frustration, anger, determination, and... well. still the feelings that come from love
He will remind him that he's hurt him.

to be fair. he did kind of place himself right in front of his knives.

Heh... He means before that. He's been on Shea's team since the beginning, you idiot.

... /giving him a squeeze/ There's more to it than that.

You think so? I signed a contract with her - willing, knowing that the game would be a game of death.

I do think so. I don't know who you were, Lucas. I can't claim to know who you were. And maybe I don't even really know you now.

/he pulls back, looking into his eyes/ That doesn't make anything that happened here less real.

/ah... there's a flicker of fear now as he stares hard at Akira.../ ... I know. And I know you know my feelings are real.

/he gives a dim, wry smirk, looking away/ You're- the person I trust the most. The only person I've ever trusted this much.

/his hand comes up, brushing his jaw to guide his gaze back to Akira/ So talk to me. Please...

/there's a quiet sound/ .... I just want it to not hurt anymore.

/a very gentle press with his fingers/ ... your heart?

/his breath is released a bit unsteadily before he finally looks at Akira. the fucking tears are starting to escape now and suddenly Akira will blink and they're gone? .... but about two seconds later, he will blink again... and they're back, and Lucas is releasing a frustrated sound/

... Yes.

/his brow furrows a little at the phenomenon happening here...? heh, there's-- a lot of strange things happening, all of a sudden...

/he brings his thumb up and gently brushes the tears away. and then he shifts forward, eyes slipping closed as he presses a soft kiss to the other cheek

/a quiet, strained sound slips from his throat at the kiss. And... then he moves to capture Akira's lips, and there's a hint of desperation in the act...

/he presses back into that kiss and holds it for a moment, then pulls back... he gives a blink.../ There's just... something I want to know.

/there's something tired in his eyes when he opens them again. He holds a blink again, and then nods/ What?

... you know my powers. Is that why... /his expression falters...

/his expression tenses for a moment/ .... At first. I was...

... I was going to steal them from you.

/he lowers his head, jawline tightened. There's a flicker of regret. Fear/ ... I didn't expect... I didn't expect to fall in love. I didn't even know it was still possible for me.

/he blinks at that... he can steal powers? and he wanted to-- oh. oh... akira gives a bit of a sad laugh at that.../ Lucas-- /his expression softens/ ... is... that really your name, by the way?

/his gaze is lowered still/

... No. That was my brother's name.

/there's a slow breath/

I killed him. As punishment, I can never die. I have... to live forever, never growing older. Gaining and losing the powers of other people. Taking their powers away. An... endless...

/one hand curls through his hair. There's a lot of pain and agony here, now...

/a small noise escapes his throat, and his hand comes up to catch his/ Easy... easy. We'll get to it. /his voice is soft and soothing/ What's your real name?

/he lets his hand be caught, the hold instantly loosening on his hair.../ Nicholas.

/he gives a nod/ Nicholas... /he gives a small, sad smile/ Do you really think I'd be the way I am if my power worked like that?

/he frowns/ Like what?

/he shakes his head/ I can't mend my own heart.

... I know. I didn't want it for me. /averting his gaze...

/...?/ ... for... Beira?

/ah... he doesn't look back at him. He's just... quietly staring off to the side still? But, there's a flicker within his emotions. Pain, guilt...

... /his brow pinches/ Beira just wanted you. /his hand tries to gently guide him back again/ She was so relieved and happy when I found the page of her...

/he holds a blink/ ... That was just part of the image. I'm not really a book - the only way to fix her is-...!

/gently teasing:/ Yeah, you're a house. /a slight press again. please look at him?/ ...I might be able to help her too. But you come first.

/he lets out a soft huff at the tease, and then he looks back to Akira. His expression is serious/ I'm... a demon, actually.

/there's a soft blink/ Me first?

You trust me... right? /he gently takes the hand that was in nicholas' hair and kisses the back of it/ More than you've ever trusted anyone?

/his breath very lightly catches, his brow furrowing/ ... Akira.

/it seems to be dawning on him... and there's a knowing look being given to the human. But, after that, he lowers his head, taking a slow breath/ I don't deserve--...

/a pained swallow... there's a small flurry of fear, doubt, uncertainty, but... finally, he does lift his head, tears escaping as he lets out an exhausted laugh and nods/ Yeah... I do.

/he gives a small smile and a nod/ Okay. /he pulls his arms around nicholas and pulls back so they can snuggle together/ Do you know how this works, or do you need me to explain it?

/there's a flicker of uncertainty that resurfaces as their positions shift, but he relaxes against Akira. He closes his eyes/

I don't know, yet, no...

/he lets out a quiet 'heh' - he... said he trusts him and he meant it, so:/

... but you don't have to explain if it's not a requirement.

It's not a requirement, but... you should probably know some things, at least? Just so you know what to expect.

First, you have to really want the change. This ability doesn't just fix a person. Sometimes people have something they can't let go of, no matter what, despite their best efforts... Something that stops them from healing. You know how doctors will lance an infection to let out the build-up? It's like that. It allows for the healing process to start.

You'll feel emotional pain... and intensely vulnerable while it happens. Maybe as vulnerable as you've ever felt... And you'll be subject to temptation, but you can't give into it. That's where the trusting me part comes in.

Once it's done, you'll be out of it for a few days. It's a really stressful process, so your body will need time to recover. My friends have said that they eventually felt a huge slam of relief... and that they had the strength to start facing.. /ah/ their demons. /a small smile/

/he's quiet for a long while... and then he releases a slow breath and nods/ ... Okay.

/he shifts a bit, pressing a kiss to Akira's lips/

I trust you.

/he presses back softly, then presses their foreheads together/

I'm going to soothe you first, okay? I can't... make the process itself any easier, but I can make starting it feel less jarring.

/he holds a blink/ Okay...

/he's already trying to focus on relaxing.

/he smiles, then kisses nicholas' forehead and gently starts instilling calm into him... but, he does it a bit differently from usual. this time, he keeps increasing the amount of calm he's instilling into him until he's practically boneless, almost in a zen state... and then akira places his hand over the demon's heart, letting out a low breath. with one more breath, he slowly pulls the hand away-- and as his hand moves away from the skin, something appears to be appearing from his chest.

/nicholas will definitely start feeling that vulnerability and pain creeping in as the shimmering, translucent heart is removed from him. akira's expresson tenses; the heart is... it's cracked in so many places, missing pieces, chunks even...

/and the moment nicholas sees it, he'll want it back. akira wasn't kidding about the temptation-- the vulnerability is overwhelming, almost to a point of inducing panic...

/meanwhile, akira's expression tenses and he flinches hard. his own breathing is picking up as tears suddenly start pouring from his eyes. the one arm that's still around nicholas clutches at him tightly, until he shakily, forcibly removes it and brings it back to gently cradle the heart close to his chest...

/he can't quite stop a sob from slipping out of him...

/he's literally never felt so calm before... He can't help slumping against Akira, his eyes closed. It's an... amazing feeling, up until it isn't.

/when his eyes finally do open to see the heart, he very definitely wants it back. He wants it so badly, it hurts. He's endured a lot of things... but this? After everything? It has him tensing, going rigid, in fact. The sound from his throat is unlike one he's made in... so long, heh. The tears start to escape as he bites down on his hand, fighting it back.

I c-- /no, he can... he can.../ Shit...

/he might be just... trying to curl into a ball now...

/so this is nicholas' pain...

/heh, well it's more like-- a ton of his pain all slamming into him all at once... shit, it's hard to think straight at all like this... h-heh, guess it's a good thing he had practice with kurama...

/there's a few more sobs escaping him, and then a gasping as he fights to push through the pain-- even if it's just for a moment...

/deep breath, in, out. in, out. he's practically a veteran at this by now. he has this...

It's-- it's okay. /he removes one hand from the heart to wrap it back around the demon, pulling him to his side as another sob escapes him, before he swallows hard and forces out/ You're safe...

/he turns his face and presses a kiss to his temple, even though his breath is shaking and the tears won't stop

/there's a pause of trembling, crying, curling up... but he does slowly move to straighten out enough to pull Akira closer. He focuses as hard as he can on those words. As hard as he can on the love. He focuses so hard, he winds up:/

I love you... I love you and I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry...

/he doesn't even seem to notice the words from his mouth...

/akira presses back into him, nuzzling into him with a slight whimper... before he gives him another kiss

It's okay... shhh...

/okay... okay... fuck.. he can weather this. he-- shit... he wants to help guide nicholas through this but it's hard enough just to get the couple words out...

/just... bear with him a little longer...

/eventually, between sobs, he's going to start kissing Akira's face. Then, quietly, he's whispering:/

Thank you...

/before more sobs slip out.

/o-oh-- that actually helps to ground akira, heh... his breathing is finally starting to-- not exactly steady itself but it's definitely becoming more controlled

/wordlessly, he kisses nicholas' face back, even as the tears keep flowing, and his hand comes up to comb through the red locks...

/he's finally stabilized enough that he can murmur to the demon

You're doing wonderful... Just keep letting it out.

/those words have a gasp-like sound coming out. A quiet whimper escapes before he buries his face into Akira's shoulder, arms tightly winding around him, pulling him closer.

/and... he does. He keeps letting it out, wave after wave of sobs...

/akira gently shifts so his hand is holding his heart off to the side, and nuzzles quietly into nicholas' hair. they'll probably be there for awhile-- but isn't time fucked up anyway? heh...

/but no matter how long it takes, akira never once gives any indication of getting impatient or frustrated. and at some point, that pain eventually will start to subside for them both... the vulnerability and desperate need to take the heart back becomes less and less... until they finally leave completely, instead leaving the demon with a sense of security, and... perhaps, for the first time in a very long time?

/a sense of peace...

/it's when they're both finally quiet, akira speaks to him softly:

Hey, Nicholas?

/he's drained, by the time he hears his name... Slowly, he lifts his head, looking at Akira with a genuinely peaceful expression - albeit... a very tired one/

Yeah?

/he moves forward, eyes sliding closed as he presses their lips together... and holds it for awhile... and then he just barely parts it, and whispers against them:

I love you, too.

/he leans into the kiss with a swell of eagerness and relief. Those words have a swell of happiness tugging at him - something unfamiliar, to him, but... A tiny laugh slips out, another tear sliding down his cheek before he steals another kiss.

/he hums happily, pressing back into the kiss... and he'll even gently open his mouth against lucas' lips in a quiet request to deepen the kiss

/his breath catches considerably, but he parts his own lips, somewhat... clumsily letting it deepen....

/he gently introduces his tongue, heart beating faster as he does so... his own movements are a little clumsy, himself, but curious, eager, and most of all, tender and patient

/a quiet sound slips out into the kiss, one hand lifting so he can thread his fingers through Akira's hair. He gradually eases into a slightly faster pace for the kiss, but the clumsiness remains for now.

/it's as he's kissing him that he brings up the heart, and gently pushes it back into nick's chest. it might cause a fluttery feeling or a brief spike of vulnerability, but only for a moment. akira continues kissing him throughout it, so hopefully that'll be enough of a distraction from the momentary unpleasantness

/there's a sharp inhale at the increase in vulnerability, but the kiss is a wonderful distraction. He pulls Akira a little closer, in fact.

/after a moment, he gently breaks the kiss, and presses another to the corner of his mouth, murmuring/ It's done now... you did wonderful.

/he slowly combs the fingers of both hands through Akira's hair/

You did, too...

/he gives a happy hum at that, letting their foreheads rest together/ You'll probably start feeling sleepy, soon... /he kisses his forehead, then holds a blink.../ Tomorrow's the trial...

... Yeah. /he ducking his head, gently burying his face into Akira's neck, pulling him closer.../ The final trial.

/he inhales, then lets out a breath and snuggles into nick/ ... we've been here for several weeks, but... /he sounds tired/ I'm still at a loss for how to deal with Jennifer and Shea.

/he nods/ Be careful... is all I can say.

/his brow tenses, and then he kisses nick's neck/ I won't stop fighting until you're free, Nick.

/he closes his eyes and nods/ Thank you...

/his hand strokes through his hair/ Rest now... we have a long day ahead of us.

/he pauses to kiss Akira's face several times/ Yeah. You, too...

/there's a soft, if tired chuckle.../ Someone I need to talk to, first. /he kisses his forehead.../ I'll be back, okay?

/he lets out a quiet sound, but... gives a small nod/ Okay... I'll wait up...

/he shakes his head gently/ If you're tired, sleep. /he touches his face gently for a moment before pulling away, smiling softly before leaving...

/he will steal one more kiss to his lips, first... and then smile faintly before nodding.