[ Nico leaning against him helps a lot, as does Akira's gentleness about it. Apollon's breath does catch as he finds it more difficult to ignore those negative feelings. He swallows thickly, his grip on the demigod's hand tightening just a little, his forehead pressing a little more firmly into the human all the while.
The words have his jawline tensing a little as some of his unconscious resolve cracks more. Those walls chip away a little more as he takes a shaky breath and nods. The self-loathing, the loneliness, sadness, anger, desperation, fear, doubt... even some paranoia. All of those are reaching the surface, laced with plenty of feelings that lurk within the same vein as those. So many emotions that have been bottled and ignored and pushed aside, time and again.
It's hard to force himself to let go, but Nico and Akira are both being patient and there's the soft coaxing of those powers. He shivers a little against the growing negativity. Being unable to "look away" from them is certainly not something he's altogether unused to, but it's been long enough by this point since he has, it's bringing the threat of panic. Because the last time he felt this... there had been yet another loss in his immortal existence.
A feeling of pure grief and buried betrayal starts to grow, this pain like no other that Akira's felt off of him. In fact, this is possibly one of the stronger feelings within him; it's certainly painful enough that it's taking Apollon's breath away and causing him to shudder with the force. It hurts so much and he immediately starts to fight against it.
He tightly closes his eyes, brow furrowing as he swallows down the threat of a sob. ]
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2019-12-24 08:32 am (UTC)The words have his jawline tensing a little as some of his unconscious resolve cracks more. Those walls chip away a little more as he takes a shaky breath and nods. The self-loathing, the loneliness, sadness, anger, desperation, fear, doubt... even some paranoia. All of those are reaching the surface, laced with plenty of feelings that lurk within the same vein as those. So many emotions that have been bottled and ignored and pushed aside, time and again.
It's hard to force himself to let go, but Nico and Akira are both being patient and there's the soft coaxing of those powers. He shivers a little against the growing negativity. Being unable to "look away" from them is certainly not something he's altogether unused to, but it's been long enough by this point since he has, it's bringing the threat of panic. Because the last time he felt this... there had been yet another loss in his immortal existence.
A feeling of pure grief and buried betrayal starts to grow, this pain like no other that Akira's felt off of him. In fact, this is possibly one of the stronger feelings within him; it's certainly painful enough that it's taking Apollon's breath away and causing him to shudder with the force. It hurts so much and he immediately starts to fight against it.
He tightly closes his eyes, brow furrowing as he swallows down the threat of a sob. ]